Arch --

I can completely relate. The psychological symptoms are dragging me down too. I don't feel quite *real*, everything is slowed down, I can't concentrate for the life of me. I used to write fiction and was an avid reader, was a Duke University Talent Award Recipient (in just the 7th grade) for reading & writing ... i loved the stuff! And now, I don't have enough energy to read one sentence through .. i get lost midsentence, and I have try it again, and read it out loud, in order to retain anything. I stopped really writing the year after ETS... just couldn't get into it, and this was something that was my absolute passion! I was a speed reader, reading around 1 - 5 novels a week (depending on the length), plus doing readings for school....

anyways, this slowed down system of mine causes me to make terrible choices, i have no *gut* instinct anymore, I seem to only compulsively make bad choices/bad decisions. And, I've become impulsive as well. I never had a problem with impulsivity before ETS ... but I took a TOVA test last year (for add/adhd), and it turned out that my impulsivity was off the charts! When things got "challenging" on the test, I just fired away at random ... no rhyme or reason ... just felt driven to click the button, even when a target wasnt presented on the screen. It was crazy. And now, I've taken a bit to gambling too ... not even because i love it, but i think my body is just craving that dopamine! Who knows?

I'm on my sixth year post ets.

Anyways, I've got to ask .. what meds are you taking, if any? And have you taken any that helped the mental effects?