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I don't remember exactly when my HH physically manifested itself. I do remember, however, that back in grade school, I noticed my new white socks would turn black by the second month into the schoolyear from being stained by my black school shoes. I do remember when I was just a kid, getting home from school, my mom would pick up my school shoes to put them in the closet, and she'd look at me wondering "Why are the insides of your shoes so wet?" I do remember back in high school, some of my friends would say "Eeww… your hands are wet" when I shook their hands. But I honestly did not feel anything was wrong with me then. I shook hands whenever I felt like it, and I couldn't understand why some people reacted weirdly. I held hands with other people during Sunday mass when the priest told us to do so. I wore shoes without socks, when I felt fashion called for it, I don't remember being bothered by a puddle inside my shoes. I do remember getting home however and wondering why my feet smelled like hell.

I did not realize back then that I was different. Ahhh… ignorance is bliss.

But I grew up. Kid's play was over. More and more, I found myself in social situations where first impressions were everything. Going to college, meeting new friends, going in for job interviews… I think it was at this point when I started to care. That was when my HH manifested itself emotionally in my life. My concern grew everyday, until it got to the point where I'm at right now…. HH on the back of my mind 24/7. Yes, 24/7 - and you all know this is not an exaggeration. Okay, probably a few minutes a day I forget about it, and of course when asleep.

Reading through the posts on this forum, it's like everybody has been watching me all these years. The pain, the embarrassment, the awkwardness, they are all too real. And just like everyone, I would almost do anything to get rid of this condition, which for a long time has made me feel abnormal and inferior.

I can honestly say that I have not allowed HH to control my life. I graduated with honors from high school, college and law school, and I am now a CPA-Lawyer. I have been the officer of several organizations, and have mingled with other people quite successfully. In fact, I've hosted a lot of events.

But for some reason, at this point in my life, HH seems to be a bigger issue. Now I feel that it stops me from realizing my full potential. Several months ago, I came across a website promising to cure me of my HH for good. The doctor is based in Texas… I don't even remember his name anymore. At last, a cure… sounds too good to be true. But I looked forward to having the surgery. Then just a few days ago, while on YouTube, I was shocked to see how a lot of people's lives have been ruined by the surgery. Outside of the ETS doctors' websites, I've only read about 6 posts who claim that they have not regretted getting the surgery. Everybody else were not so lucky.

At this point, I have not totally eliminated ETS as an option, although at the back of my mind, I'm thinking "Am I crazy? How can I even consider this surgery when a lot of people swear to being permanently disabled by it?"

Compensatory sweating. I live right now in California, USA. I can walk under a blistering sun for 10 minutes up and down a hill, and only my palms and soles will be wet (crazy wet). But the rest of my body is completely dry. Even my pits would be only mildly wet, which I think is normal. If I get an extreme case of CS after ETS, I don't know if I can cope with it. Right now, people realize I'm different only after shaking my hands. But if I get CS, I'm expecting that even strangers will start staring at me just because I'm soaking wet on my back, belly and groin. Worse, I am originally from Asia, and my country is EXTREMELY humid. "Normal" people sweat profusely in my country because of the sheer humidity. I plan to retire in Asia, but if I get CS, that may not be an option anymore - A HUGE consideration for me. By the way, back in Asia, I'd sweat all over because of the climate. I cannot imagine sweating more because of ETS.

I'm particularly concerned about getting CS on the soles of my feet. Shoes don't last long with me, and I avoid sandals as much as possible. Depending on the type of shoes I wear, sometimes I hear a swooshing sound from my shoes at midday just because my feet are soaking wet. No relaxing feet massages for me as well since I don't want to gross out the poor masseur. (Even as an HH sufferer, I would find it uncomfortable to touch somebody else's sweaty feet. So I can understand if I would appall other "normal" people.) I simply cannot imagine my feet being more wet.

Anhidrosis? Well, I'm not outdoorsy. I don't play sports. So, at first glance, this is not a major issue for me. But what if I need to work on my backyard, or do household chores, or carry heavy stuff when I'm traveling? I don't mind looking completely dry from the nipple up, but is that healthy? Won't I collapse from overheating? I also go to steam baths every now and then, and I love to run when given the chance. Will ETS stop me from doing all these?

Cold hands and feet. I have them now anyway, so it won't make a difference.

Reduced heart rate. Right now, I get palpitations for some reason - too much caffeine? I don't know. But if ETS will reduce my heart rate, then I guess that balances off things for me. I may be putting this too simplistically, but I may be right also.

Reduced energy, fear, emotions and passion for life? Now, this really worries me. I'm the type of guy who loves to stay indoors on weekends and just watch TV. I'm not the typical sports maniac who can't seem to run out of energy. In other words, I don't have enough energy as it is, and I'm easily bored. If I can get more bored and laid back than this, I'm screwed. But if I get less worried too, then that's a good thing, because I'm a worry wart. Ahh… this is driving me crazy right now just thinking about it.

Horner's and Raynauds. These are two significant side effects which I definitely do not want to have. Although I noticed that not a lot of people on this forum and other boards report it as part of their post-ETS symptoms. Right now, I'm counting on luck that I may not have this syndromes.

I haven't made up my mind completely about ETS. I just moved here to the US in pursuit of the American Dream. And I certainly don't want to call up my family a few months after the surgery and say "I'm on disability payment because of some surgery which I thought would change my life."

I take my hat off to all post-ETS "victims" who remain strong. I wish you all the best. Unfortunately, I don't know if I can be as strong if the same thing happened to me.

I might be go on Robinul for now and hope it works. I understand this gives you headaches, but I get a lot of headaches anyway right now because of a deformed nasal passage aggravated by nasal allergies. So I think I'll be fine, plus there's Tylenol.

Oral medication would be my last attempt at a normal life before I think of surgery again. I've tried Drionic, peeing on your hands, topical lotions, trying to relax - NOTHING works.

Thank you guys for allowing me to post. It's a long post I know. If you have any random comments or advice, please feel free to send a message. My email is brian_go26@yahoo.com.

I do have a favor to ask… could you guys please post the names of the doctors who are responsible for the sad effects you are suffering? And if you're happy, who's the doctor to thank? From the few happy post-ETS messages I've read, I gather this may be a case of good doctor vs. bad doctor, and not really about ETS per se. I could be absolutely wrong about this, but the only way to find out is to conduct some sort of a survey on this board as to which doctors deserve to be put in jail, and which doctors have made HH sufferers happy. So far, Garza and Neilson have popped out as the 2 most hated doctors. But 2 people recommend Duarte and Zusman. Can we have this sort of survey going on? Pre-ETS is a night and daymare.. as you know. Post-ETS has been heaven for some, and sadly, death for many others as far as I have read. The doctor, and not the operation, may be the answer. You have exposed ETS for all its faults already, and people like me who are thinking of getting it will be eternally and immensely grateful for the warning. Now, it's time to expose the doctors - over and over again, in as many avenues as possible.

Thank for your time. I pray for all of us.