I know alot of you know what i'm going through. The phsyical side effects are tough to deal with but the psycholgical one's seem worse at times. I mean
can i ask how many of you are alot more impulsive now. I am get very impulsive and cant seem to stop myself from doing certain things anymore. A loss of
mental control. It also seems like when i focus on something , i do it alot. Like say eating a certain food. I'll eat it alot, and then stop when i'm
bored. There is no sense of balance. I'm also very self destructive. Thank god i have some sort of sense of humor or otherwise man..... i dunno. I was
just reading britton's post hanging by a thread and it really saddened me. I hope you are okay britton, i havent seen you posting on this board for awhile.
I am worried to see that. I hope it is because you have gone on with your life somehow.
Sorry just ranting away... it's like i'm living.. but i'm living sleepwalking almost..... it's really surreal..... i'll be honest with you all... i started gambling since ets.. first it was a way for me to make money without working.. even tho i've worked 5 out of the 7 years after ets.... and now.. it just seems self destructive...... i only gambled like twice in my life before ets.. and it was when i went to vegas..... i cant blame everything on ets... but.... i dunno.. i'm just not the same... i feel it every day...... i hate being the victim....... but i dont even think i can get disability allowance here... i talked to my specialist a few weeks ago.. and i dont think he will sign off on it..... shit out luck i guess.....
arch
Sorry just ranting away... it's like i'm living.. but i'm living sleepwalking almost..... it's really surreal..... i'll be honest with you all... i started gambling since ets.. first it was a way for me to make money without working.. even tho i've worked 5 out of the 7 years after ets.... and now.. it just seems self destructive...... i only gambled like twice in my life before ets.. and it was when i went to vegas..... i cant blame everything on ets... but.... i dunno.. i'm just not the same... i feel it every day...... i hate being the victim....... but i dont even think i can get disability allowance here... i talked to my specialist a few weeks ago.. and i dont think he will sign off on it..... shit out luck i guess.....
arch
