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nightmare in ETS street 3 years

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miketrismegisto	nightmare in ETS street 3 years		Lead	[-]
Member Posts: 417 03/27/09 09:24 PM	Tags : None Last Edited By: miketrismegisto 10/03/09 12:43 PM. Edited 1 time.
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alvinsduckie		#1	[url]	[-]
Member Posts: 1405 03/29/09 03:05 AM	mike pardon if i havent welcomed you--or if I've done so twice. Mind is gone...ya know how that can be. I read something in other forum that maybe persons with HH have personality type A I believe it, bunch of fresh honeymooners in another forum totally happy with ETS because they cant feel anymore. I'm type A, and i miss feeling emotions. i miss the "rush" of love, music...travel. all things enjoyable are now either not appealing, or too hard to accomplish in my health's state. least we have this forum where we can all vent, compare notes, support each other, and search for a cure. this nightmare cant go on forever...I simply wont accept this is "just how it is" the rest of my life.
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miketrismegisto	Only one reason	#2	[url]	[-]
Member Posts: 417 05/02/09 07:03 PM	Hi I only want to said, to all, if someone can give me only one reason ONLY ONE TO CONTINUE, ONLY ONE THATS ALL NO MORE AND THATS IT to continue in this fucking helll. Thanks Mike
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alvinsduckie		#3	[url]	[-]
Member Posts: 1405 05/02/09 08:36 PM	because you are loved and needed. whether its 2 or 200, friends and family need you here. I often contemplate suicide, but with my luck as soon as I did...stem cells would be the cure I was waiting for. time may heal all wounds, but death is a scar that never heals. I dearly miss my friends and pets, regardless of how they died. Holidays are hard as I am always wondering "if that person was alive today, what would they be doing? what would we be doing?" we are in hell, I agree to that 100%, but also feel hope is closer than we think. ((((hugs))))
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miketrismegisto		#4	[url]	[-]
Member Posts: 417 05/03/09 05:47 PM	Thanks for the words Alvinsduckie Somedays I feel good or strong but that day i feel myself like craps I cant imagine why this, docs???? Still performing this surgerys just for $$$$$$ and they all know the side effects but they only said , its only 1% its incredible this miserables sons of ........ So imagine this I cant work as doc as i want, i cant run, play tennis, feels tyred and the heat kills me, change perceptions, feels like data of starttrek ( the robot ) at least he have luck at the final he found a chip that give sensations and start feeling as human, have some problems to breath so i have to do all my things like in slow camera to dont have this problesms and avoid sweating ( like the function of a camera when you want to see a film very slowly ), and sweating and feels soaked in cold days, Thanks to this miracle surgery, and NOW I HAVE TO SEE THIS MISERABLE IN TV SAYING THAT THIS MIRACLE SURGERY CURES HIPERHIDROSIS. Ughhhh. What have this men in their head ( popo = another word for sh.... ) Hope someday this have a final, i dont want to live all my days until my final like this its horrible, I an very antisocial not because i want i dont have datings, forget use a suit that give me more sweat . When its hot i feel burning from inside , this miserable never said to me all the side effects and for now its continue ruining lifes people. And now he is happy living the good life, gaining money for destroying peoples life and he feelslike a hero that helps peoples.... Somedays i said God why this to all of us, at least give a sign , what i have to do , please just a coincidence, sign , dream , whatever please only that what i have to do, where i have to search to try to find how to escape to this, but nothing...... I believe in God and karma also , so jumping from the most big building and lets see the gravitational force acting its not the right way, at least please God give me the force and for all of us to deal with this and looks for a cure, at least to work without disturbance ( cause the sweat ) but nothing only silence. Believe in God after this???? Uhmm well sometimes i said yes and others no, feels all my beliefs like in shock, I believe in God no matter this , he is not responsable , maybe he wants me to live this situation for a while to understand how people suffer and try to bring help not only for ets suffers so for others people that have other diseases ( cancer, aids, etc ) or side effects from other surgerys ( ???? i dont know its my personal opinion ) try to be positive ( for that reason i post in offline section how people found solutions to their problems like the man how have new arm, or the man that recover his sight with a dental procedure after 6 years ) that littles information give me the sensation in same way that my soul return to my body and feels like i can continue in searching with more strong but others days the fall is very hard, crying in from of the PC or go to sleep to forget this shit at least most days when i sleep i dont sweat ( most of them ) there r some days in summer that i sweat a lot when i sleep ( another great thing thanks to this ets surgery ). I dont know what its going to happen tomorrow i dont know if i would have a wife and family you know that with this its very difficult i dont know, i try to live only day by day at lets see what the tomorrow have to bring to us. But only one think i know that no matter what happens tomorrow im going to look for something good and fighting to look for a cure until my last day if i will have success ??? i put that in God hands. Thanks again Miketrismegisto
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alvinsduckie		#5	[url]	[-]
Member Posts: 1405 05/03/09 07:01 PM	hey mike =) best I can think about God and my situation is the same as Him putting me right next door to a "missing" pedophile. Evidently God thinks I'm strong enough to do something about whatever He's thrown in my path. Many days are hard. especially when I have difficulty speaking and my mother takes it personally and says "Don't speak to me like I'm stupid!" then throws a childish temper tantrum and stomps off to her room. (slamming door and all) I've put up with her depression/dementia for over 30 years. Even after my birth she seldom got up out of the bed to care for me. 40 years later--nothing has changed, yet society keeps trying to guilt me into taking care of her. and that's when I realized taking care of her is hurting more than helping. I havent figured out what "God's plan" is for me and ETS. I know it isn't a trial of life, as my childhood was very abusive. but I did manage to get a small clip aired on the news a few years ago. so hopefully I'm still on the right track. I'm just not able to donate as much time as I 'd like right now because I'm preparing to move in the next few months. somehow we'll all muck thru this together. many of us have made it this far out of sheer determination and hatred.
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